They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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