I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
