just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
