I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
