That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cannot find my penis.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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