Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
