The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize