My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
