69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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