You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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