you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
