i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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