cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
