Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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