You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We just shotgunned beers for America
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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