You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
