Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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