I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There r osticjed everywhere
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
