The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize