I think I am morally bankrupt
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
