if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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