so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
