just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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