no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
