so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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