my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
