so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
