And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
