this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
