Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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