I puked a lego.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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