I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize