I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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