Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
