this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
