My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
