Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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