We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
