i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So vagazzling was a success
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
