Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
