found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
