He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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