Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
