it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
