Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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