im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
