grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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