Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
