would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
