Michael Bay diarrhea
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
my poor anus
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
