shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
