The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
