So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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