That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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