We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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