last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
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bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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