i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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