help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
