C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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