C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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