Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize