Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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