No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
