You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
