He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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